A Cursed Blessing
by pandamaniac
Summary: (One-shot with an epilogue in progress)/ It's been seven years since she was forced to leave Killian behind, and now Emma has to deal with both the loss of her true love and a newly discovered consequence of the curse; or is it a blessing?


August.

Emma sat in bed motionlessly facing the television. She didn't remember how long she stayed there, staring at the plain black screen. She locked herself in her room, refusing to see anyone for the past couple of days. Eventually, they left her alone to her thoughts. It was fine, she wanted to be alone. She wanted to sit around in her worn out sweatpants eating out of a .99$ chocolate box. It was comforting, there was nothing wrong with that.

It's been seven years since the Neverland incident. Seven long years of trying to accept her fate and the fates of those around her. Up until a few weeks ago, Emma was completely normal. Her duties as a sheriff kept her busy for a while. Henry also helped a lot. As soon as Regina and Emma settled on having a joint custody of Henry, he had begged her to let him "explore" the world. They spent one year out on the road, visiting city to city. It was a trip both of them desperately needed. Thankfully, Henry was smart enough to skip a grade so he didn't miss out. Now that the town reached a steady and peaceful state, It began to sink in…She was alone. It took them about three years since they got back to realize that none of them were aging. It was one of the consequences that came with the curse; the people from the Enchanted Forest were imprisoned in a small town, for eternity. They were cursed to live in a land they didn't belong in, in a time that wasn't theirs. Some of them considered it a blessing though, they got to live an eternity with their one true love, even if the circumstances weren't exactly perfect. Even Regina managed to find a second chance at love with Jefferson, after they sorted out their differences and rough past of course. it was simply wonderful wasn't it? No. To Emma, this immortality was a curse. It was the foulest of all curses, because in those three years they realized that although they weren't aging, Henry was. They realized that a person who wasn't born in the Enchanted Forest wasn't _blessed _with that gift. Now, at eighteen, Henry was leaving. He was heading off to the University of Southern California, to major in Folklore. Emma twisted the ring around her finger and reached for another chocolate. It was inevitable, he was growing up and she would outlive him. Such was the true curse of the curse. Was it her fate to live her life separated from the ones she loved? The only one who might have understood what she was going through was Ella. Since she gave birth to Alexandra in Storybrooke, her little girl was also affected by the cruel hands of time.

The window shutters did nothing to block out the voices of the people in the streets as they prepared for tonight's festival. How could they be so excited and thrilledwhile she was so _miserable_? She couldn't believe they were preparing a festival – fireworks, games, decorations, and all that crap – for Henry's last week in Storybrooke. Okay, maybe it was a thoughtful gesture, but she couldn't help feeling this way. She regretted the fact that she was only able to spend 7 years with him, and now she had to watch him leave so soon. If only she hadn't given him up, she wouldn't be feeling this way. Ugh. She needed Killian… he would have made today so much easier to handle. She still missed him. Every single day.

_"I'm not leaving you here, Killian!" Emma screamed as she slashed at the kid that tried to stab her from behind. They were surrounded, and fighting amongst the trees wasn't working out in their favor. They barely had enough space to dodge the lost boys' skilled attacks. Killian was barely hanging on…His clothes were torn and stained with blood. His body was trembled in exhaustion as he fought for their survival. She was sure she looked the same, the adrenaline that flowed through her veins was wearing off, and the pain of the stab wound on her left hip got worse with every movement she made. They were outnumbered; they stood no chance against all the boys Pan programmed into killing perfections. No, she couldn't even call them boys, they were more like soulless machines, and their eyes didn't hold a single trace of emotion. "Emma, run back to the ship and take Henry home! Finish what we came here to do!" He bellowed. Killian managed to dodge another hit and took down another boy. Emma was desperate, she couldn't leave him behind. She couldn't. Where were Gold and Regina when she needed them!? She couldn't use her magic yet, the potion still didn't wear off. Just a blazing ball of fire; that was all she needed to turn the tide. "I'm not leaving you. You need me." She shook her head in defiance. They needed a miracle. Because no matter how many they killed, more arrived. _

"Emma, honey?" Emma was startled out of her memories by Snow's voice. Huh, when did her tears begin to fall? She wiped her eyes and hid the tissue under her pillow, "Yeah?" she answered, careful not to give her weakness away. Snow opened the door and smiled sadly. "Emma, you should be there today. For Henry." "I'll be there." She shrugged. Of course she'd be there, she wasn't that selfish. Okay, so maybe the thought did cross her mind once. Or twice. "You know, it's not like he'll be gone forever. He'll be back for the holidays, and you can visit him too. Plus, you can leave Storybrooke anytime you miss him, unlike us." Snow listed as she began combing out all the tangles in Emma's hair. She cried out in pain, "Ow, ow! Careful!" "It's your fault for letting yourself get lost in this state. You look horrible." "Wow…well thank you, _mom._" "Shut up, _daughter_." Snow smiled and continued combing her hair, a bit softer than before, they settled into a mutual silence for a while, and Emma hoped her mom wouldn't intrude further into her emotions. "It's not just about Henry leaving, is it?" "You know it's not…" Emma grumbled, twisting the ring around her finger. Guess not.

Everyone knew. After they came back from Neverland, Emma got drunk, really drunk. She made sure that everyone knew that the pirate the whole town despised, was a hero that saved their lives. A hero that sacrificed himself for their safety, the people who had hurt him so many times before. A few days after her announcement, the story of how the pirate and princess fell in love was whispered into every ear in Storybrooke.

_"This was all for you. It was always you." _

If only he said those words sooner. If only she hadn't let her pride get in the way of telling him…letting him know that she cared for him in a way that left her terrified but thrilled all at once... If only she hadn't let that almost-kiss be their last. If only she was strong enough to have saved him and brought him back home. But she didn't, she wasn't strong enough, and here she was all alone. Those ifs were meaningless. They were meaningless possibilities, dreams, and wishes that couldn't come true.

"_I'll be right behind you. I promise."_

"-ma… Emma?"

"Huh?" She had to stop getting lost in her thoughts like that, "Did you say something?"

"I said, do you still miss him?" Snow repeated, eyes glazed with sadness.

"More than you can imagine." Emma sighed, "Sorry mom, I have to go. I'll be back in time for the festival I promise." She got out of bed, slipped into her jeans and tank top, and stumbled several times on her way out. She needed to clean her room, it was a disaster. Damn, she forgot to grab her gun and badge. Never mind, she didn't need it for the last couple of years. It seemed that everyone decided to live together in peace, who would want an eternal rivalry? Even Regina and Snow sorted out some of their differences and reached a mutual level of tolerance. The car keys… where were the keys!? Ugh never mind, she'd walk. She needed the exercise anyways, all that chocolate made it difficult to fit into her jeans.

_"Grey rocks, and greyer sea,  
And surf along the shore,  
And in my heart a name,  
My lips shall speak no more."_

_Killian Jones, Hero to all. _

Emma bent down and placed two pink carnations at his headstone, _I'll never forget you._ Between them, she left a single daffodil, _you're the only one. _"…Idiot," She muttered to herself. She knew the grave was empty; they never found a body, but a year after they came back her parents suggested they honor him with a funeral. _"Emma… He wouldn't have been able to survive those injuries without help. It's been a year, he would have found a way back by now." _They argued for weeks, and reluctantly, Emma agreed. She never fully accepted him being dead. Up until now, a part of her still expected to see Killian walking out of the shadows and pulling her into his arms. Emma twisted the ring around her thumb, his ring.

_"Keep it. I'm entrusting you with this if anything happens to me." _

_"But it's your moth-"He thrust the ring into her jacket pocket, "Emma. Take it." He said firmly, "First chance you got, you run like hell while I stall." Emma narrowed her eyes, "No. We've got a better chance fighting together." "They won't be happy once they've realized Henry isn't with us anymore. It won't be a merciful fight, lass." "I thought you said we made quite the team?" He smiled sadly at her words, "Aye love…that we do." _

It became a part of her, a part of them. She wanted to hug him…hold him in the strongest death grip and never let go, except to punch him in the face for leaving her for so long. She wanted to get lost in his oceanic scent, his scent. She would tell him that for the past seven years she went out to the docks at night to surround herself in that particular smell because she only found herself when she was wrapped in memories of him. Being the asshole he was, he would probably chuckle at her abnormal obsession, but that was fine…she would kiss him until he made up for all the suffering he put her through. Those thoughts were the only things that prevented her from breaking down and-

A sharp tune rang from her phone brought her back from her inner musings.

"Hello?"

_"Emma where are you? We're all waiting!"_ Her father's voice sounded from the phone. Shit. When did it get so dark? "Uh…yeah I'm on the way." She ended the call before he could respond and rushed out the graveyard.

"Mom, are you okay?" Henry grabbed Emma's hand and pulled her aside as soon as she got there. "Yeah, I just lost track of time." She plastered a smile and hoped he'd believe her. It was wrong, she was acting selfish and now Henry was worried. He didn't have to be burdened by her messed up emotions. "I know you're lying mom, it's fine to need someone every now and then. Don't shut everyone out." He stepped forward and hugged her, his chin resting on her head. She remembered the days when he was only to able to embrace her waist, when did he grow up so fast? "Are you that bothered about outliving me? Don't worry I'll get married quickly and you'll have a dozen grandchildren keeping you company. You could be the beautiful grandma they'd want to show off while I sit around with my round belly and bald head. " He said as he rubbed her back soothingly. Emma's silent sobs turned into soft chuckles, "Thank you..." Emma and Henry headed to the docks and talked for over an hour. The fireworks could wait. It seemed like she wasn't the only one who had troubles on her mind. Henry was afraid of leaving her alone. He realized how hurt she was as she watched him grow older with each year that passed by knowing that one day, she would look younger than he did. _"I have to live my life, and you need to find love again, mom. I know you miss him, but you can't live forever this way. At least try, for me?" _He told her. Maybe he was right, but she couldn't see herself falling in love again anyways, it was too troublesome. After Henry made sure she was feeling better - which she did – they set off to the festival.

Emma attempted to twist the ring around her finger but the cold metal wasn't there. Her eyes widened as she brought a ring-less hand to her face, it was gone. The ring was gone. Where was it?! Her mind quickly retraced everything she did that day. She never took it off, even if she was taking a bath. Where, where, where... _Shit. _She must have dropped it as his grave when she rushed off. "Sorry kid, I'll catch up to you later!" she yelled and ran off. If any of those pesky crows stole her ring, she would personally shoot each one's nest down and find it. She checked the headstone first. The ring wasn't there, and neither were the flowers. _Weird_.

She heard a rustle and her eyes darted in that direction, nothing but trees. Her eyes narrowed but her shoulders remained tense. It was nothing, just her mind playing tricks on her. She slowly resumed her search, using her phone as a flashlight as she tried to ignore the tingling feeling moving down her spine. What was wrong with her? She was acting more careless than she usually does, she needed to get her head back together. Twenty minutes later, and still nothing. Emma was beginning to lose hope. She slumped down onto the grass and leaned her head back to rest against the headstone, "He'd kill me if he saw me right now."

"Looking for something?" Emma jolted into combat mode, her heart beating frantically in her chest. _That voice…_ Her eyes scanned the area until her gaze landed on a figure she knew so well. Her breath hitched in her throat as a train of memories and emotions ran over her, "K-Killian…?" she stammered. She felt lightheaded, she couldn't think straight. No way. No way was this real. This had to be a hallucination.

"Miss me, love?" He grinned and spread out his arms, inviting her in. Emma blinked and took a step back, this couldn't be real. "You're dead…and I've gone mad." Her face tightened in doubt. Killian took out the ring from his pocket, along with the three flowers she left behind, "You're far from mad, love. I'm sorry I took so long…" His voice cracked. She couldn't believe it, but everything in her was telling her that he was real. He didn't have his usual confidence and his eyebrows were gathered in a pained expression as he chewed on his lower lip, waiting for her reaction. They stood inches apart now and Emma searched his face, seeking validation. Her chin trembled, "Killian…Is it really you?" She asked, but she already knew, she could recognize his scent even if he was lost amongst a thousand sailors. He was real. He came back. He looked different though, good. But different. His usual leather outfit was replaced by a simple white blouse and brown pants, and his eyes were no longer outlined in black eyeliner. Killian caressed her cheek and wiped away a tear that threatened to escape. He placed soft kisses at the corner of her lips, a sensation that contradicted the feel of his rough stubble against her chin. Deep blue eyes filled her vision, hard yet passionate, "It's about bloody time."

_Killian had her pinned to the tree as he leaned down to kiss her. "Stop!" Emma shoved him away, Killian's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and his lips pressed together in a straight line. "I'm not letting you kiss me goodbye. We're going to make it out of this alive, period." She stated stubbornly. Killian huffed like a little kid and sat down, crossing his legs, "And I had you cornered too." He complained, amusement shining in his eyes, "You owe me a night in the cabin when all this is done, Swan." Emma threw her head back and laughed, something she seemed to be doing a lot around him, "I owe you nothing, captain."_

Emma smiled and closed her eyes as he brought his lips to meet hers. Mhm. It was about bloody time_. _He kissed her again and again, each kiss more intense than the last. The years she spent waiting for him seemed nothing but a distant memory now. He was home, that was all that mattered. "Now…about that night at the cabin-"Killian whispered jokingly into her ears. Emma couldn't help it, soft laughter spilled from her lips and she playfully shoved him away.

"What happened to you?" Emma asked. Her head was against his chest as his arm encircled her waist possessively. They decided to sit beneath the large oak tree at the edge of the graveyard in case someone came looking for Emma. She didn't want to face anyone right now except Killian. "It's a long story, and don't you have a festival to attend?" He shrugged and her eyes widened at his response, "How do you know about that?" "I overheard your conversation with your mom." "You were at my apartment!?" "I was checking up on you." "Why the hell didn't you show yourself sooner?!" She was furious. Here she was feeling all depressed and missing him like crazy while he was sneaking around her for god knows how long. How the hell did he even have the patience to _wait_? "I had to make sure you hadn't moved on, seven years is a long time." He answered, trying to dismiss the subject. Emma's eyes flew to his face, and for the first time, he seemed unsure. "Did you really think that? Looks like the great Captain isn't so confident after all." She poked him playfully and Killian chuckled, "Looks like the great Captain finally met his match." "Yes he did. Now tell me what happened."

"After losing Henry, Pan wanted revenge. He kept me alive so he could extract the memories of everything I knew, his methods were twisted. Tinker Bell finally had enough of Pan's thirst for power, so she turned on him. However at that time I had already lost all my memories and ability to move, I was merely an empty shell. She saved me, but it wasn't easy. It took around a year for me to regain my memories, and another to regain my previous physical capabilities. The last years were spent in war with Pan, fighting for the possession of the jewel that allows him to travel between lands. He had the whole Island as his army, we had nothing. It was a tough war that we never won, however we did manage to save a young boy, before he was _molded_. We convinced him to steal the jewel for us and fled to the enchanted forest as soon as we had it in our hands. After Tinker bell found her family again, I came back here."

He'd been through a lot, but there was an annoying idea that tugged at her heart, "Seven years with a blonde, sexy, and _caring_ fairy… did you ever…?" She probed. Emma felt a laugh vibrate through Killian's chest, and she turned at him, eyes narrowed and fists clenched. Oh the nerve of that guy. Did he actually think this was funny? "Well, aren't you a jealous little fireball? The only blonde I want to care for is you, darling. Nothing happened, I assure you." He teased. "I'm not jealous." She glared. "And what about Pan, do we have to worry about him showing up?" She asked after her jealousy subsided. A bit. He shook his head, "No. He lost his only means of teleporting. Now about that festival… I do think we should be heading off, eh?"

_"Hook!?" _

_"He's back?!"_

_"I thought he was dead!"_

_"Emma, what happened?!" _

Emma and Hook walked hand in hand, both grinning widely. People surrounded them, bombarding them with questions, to say that people were stunned would be an understatement.

"You're back!" Snow threw herself at Killian, gripping him in a tight hug. Emma watched, eyes wide open. Now that was way out of character. James pulled his wife back, "Hey now… I'm still your husband." "Oh, hush! Look at your daughter, a few hours with him and she's smiling more than we've seen her smile in years! He deserves a hug." She pouted. James laughed and slapped Killian on the back, "Welcome back, mate." Killian raised his eyebrow and smirked, "and here I thought I wasn't your mate," "I might have changed my mind." James smiled and turned to Emma, "Now _this_ calls for an even bigger celebration, don't you think?"

Floating golden lanterns decorated the stalls and nearby trees and illuminated the street with a glow that cut through the darkness of the night. It seemed like everyone pitched in to making tonight extra special. Even Gold added in his own magical touch, the fireworks were all his creations, and they were incredible. Three enormous dragons made of fire soared high and wild, they twisted and snaked around each other in an enchanting dance. Just as they appeared to slow down and stop- CRACK, they burst into a spectacular display of light. Multicolored balls of fire scattered in all directions, filling the sky, and then exploded into hundreds of shooting stars in different shades and hues before they dropped back to earth. Wave after wave of radiant ferocity twirled Storybrooke. Then, with one last grumble, it was all over and darkness returned again. The people cheered and erupted as the lanterns flickered on once again. The whole thing was breathtaking, and with her family and Killian by her side, Emma finally felt whole.

**Notes:**

- I'm thinking of writing an epilogue, what do you think? :-)

- The poem on the headstone was written by Charles G.D. Roberts


End file.
